hello, goodbye.

goodbye's suck.

in every way.

when you've just promised someone a forever, and when you've decided that you're invincible with that decision; a goodbye just pops out of nowhere.

this is what i hate about living in a "small world". nobody's born and brought up in the same place anymore. everybody moves around either because of their family or just because they want to.

it's hard when you've just gotten over a goodbye and you find out you'd be having another one very, very soon. it's what i hate. i can stand goodbyes that are temporary, like when you know that you'd be seeing that person again the next day. but it's always those small goodbyes when you don't know when you'd see the person again. or weather the person would even remember you the next time you see each other. or if the person would spend hours of their day just thinking about you as you are thinking about them. what if the person says "i miss you" but doesn't miss you at all?

there's people on this planet that don't believe in forevers. people who think that the word "forever" is a big load of bullshit. they say that forevers don't exist. but what if you can make the forever happen? what if you're strong enough to keep your promise on "forever"?

what if you survive the year or two you spend away from each other and meet again?

most of you (if there is any of you) probably know by now that this has a double meaning. no, this is not about me talking about how much i hate goodbyes. it's not about how much i miss Shanghai. it's not about how much i will miss this place once i move again. it's about that one person i've got stuck in my brain. it's the person who wouldn't ever leave that corner of my mind no matter how hard he tries. no matter how hard i try to get him out of there. if you're reading this; this one's for you. this one's completely, truly, absolutely for you.

you said you want a forever. i promised you a forever. you will get a forever. we will be a forever. you know i don't break promises.

i've just gone through a goodbye.
i don't want another one.