i've never been "the popular one". guys were never after me. ever. the popular bitches never liked me. they never thought i was good enough. and i didn't mind.
some of my teachers didn't like me very much. they said i'd always "wander off" in class. i was good with others though. they didn't mind me doodling around in my notebook as long as i did the work that i was meant to do before. there was a time when me and one of my really good friends decided to sell cards. it was teachers day and we wanted to try something different. so we made beautiful cards by ourselves and sell them for money. apparantly that wasn't allowed and i was almost suspended because that friend said that it was all my idea. my parents stood up for me then, though.
THEN, it came the time when i started liking guys. When the phase of "cooties" was gone away, i was one of the first people in my grade to lose that. Guys didn't like me. I was always taller than everyone, i was "bigger" than ever one. I matured faster than everyone. None of the girls in 4th grade wore a bra, they didn't need to. I started listening to western music while my friends were still obsessing over bollywood songs. I picked up an accent from my best friend because she had one from living in the states. i cut my hair into layers and got bangs. i started spending more time with the guys than with girls because the girls did not understand me. a few months later i found out that i'm moving to shanghai. and i was more than thrilled. it felt great, knowing that i'm finally out of that place. just like that, 5th grade was over. our house was packed up. and then we moved after we had gone to our usual new delhi/jaipur trip that we do every summer.
i remember my first night in shanghai so vividly. my dad had said to us that our appartment wont be all that "special". but when we had gotten off that taxi, i knew that i'm gonna love the place. when we entered our appartment on the 9th floor, it felt like i belonged in the house, it was just.. perfect. i ran to the room that was going to be mine and it was perfect. it was cosy, small, had an amazing view and it was great. i also remember the same night, me and my dad had walked over to a grocery store to buy the basic stuff we needed for then. and we got take out from an indian restaurant. at that time, almost 3 years ago, that place felt so new, so different, so... right. now, it's like i cross the place almost every day.
Year 7 was alright, i guess. I met people who weren't from where i am from. i made friends. had a not so great relationship. got caught up with bitches. fell hard. lost friends. lost hope. lost everything. the summer helped me get back to my senses. and year 8 after, was a year to remember.
the year started off great! all my great friends were in one big class, and it was amazing. but in about february, the "dark months" came in. i lost everyone, again. but that's when i met louise. she practically changed my life. she made me a better person. she made me smile when i was upset, she changed me, she helped me and she cared for me. and i love her for that. everything went back to normal after the yr8 disco. that night was amazingly great. there was dancing, there was music, there was joy and there were tears. but it felt so right.
this year. well. there's not much i can say about it. there were parties, there was drama (lots of it), there was happiness and backstabbing but it was the best year ever. and now it's almost over. 15 days and it's done. poof. all gone. but in the past 3 years... i've changed so much. first, i used to be a hannah montana watching freak with no care for looks and who listend to stuff like hilary duff and demi lovato. now, i watch how i met your mother, ghostwhisperer, american idol and i listen to stuff like bon iver and mgmt and ellie goulding. my hair's longer, i've grown taller, my indian accent is almost dead. i've developed a passion for photography and sketching. but homehow, i still remember the old me. will i ever go back to her? hope not.
i don't know WHY i wrote all this. i just needed to like, review on my past life i guess. plus, i have nothing better to do. it's louise and my good bye party tomorrow night. it's gonna be fucking amazing. pictures on saturday :D xx
(ps. excuse terrible quality photos in prev. post, my camera decided to have tiny photos and the quality kinda died when i cropped the pictures and uploaded themm. gah)
loves,
Tanvi x
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